Monica Coash

I read of a reverend that stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on her tombstone from the beginning to the end. He noted that first came the date of her birth and then the date of her passing, but between the dates was a dash and that dash is what mattered most. "The Dash" represents all the time she spent on earth, and now only those who loved her know what that little line "The Dash" is worth. What matters is how we lived and loved and how we spent our "Dash". Monica's dash was filled with love and laughter, and more accomplishments than most people we know. How could one woman do so much, and mean so much, to so many' A devoted daughter. . . . , an older sister . . . ., a spoiling aunt . . . ., loving girlfriend..., caring friend . . . . , dynamic teacher . . . , and a mentor to all who knew her. If Monica wanted to do something, she did it now, she didn't wait until tomorrow. Monica accomplished more in one day than others do in a whole week. Her energy seemed boundless. Monica was the first to volunteer for something even if it meant getting her hands dirty. She was the first to lend a hand, an ear or a shoulder and make all of us feel uniquely special. This wonderful woman never minced words and never apologized for her opinionsor thoughts. Her sense of humor and wit were second to none. One of Monica's former students wrote that she showed her the kind of strength a woman can have. She showed her how to be independent, direct, and self-assertive. She also wrote how she remembered Monica's exuberance and 'pep' for life. She had a way of pushing us beyond our limits and our comfort levels only to better ourselves and to see all that was out there waiting for us. Monica loved us in spite of what she knew about us, the 'good, the bad, and the ugly' as one friend affectionately remembers, and somehow she found the best in us. Monica always put the needs of others before her own; she truly had a heart of gold. Monica followed her dreams and had the perseverance and strength to see them become reality. Most of us can still hear her voice echoing in the hallways or hear her loud laughter from a distance. Through her teaching and Future Problem-Solving Monica has impacted the lives of thousands. Monica's sister is amazed that no matter how people knew Monica, they all say the same things about her. Monica was true to herself, knew who she was, and never wavered. Along with her strength of character, Monica truly celebrated life and made the very most of it. Monica is proof that one person can make a difference. If Monica were speaking today, she would tell us in that calm, yet direct manner to go celebrate her life and the times we had with her. Her instructions might also include something about a margarita! You can probably imagine the tone in her voice and candor in her message. This amazing woman had an enormous capacity to love and befriend so many of us. While Monica was here she showed us all how to live, to laugh, to love, and make the best out of every day. We have learned from her how to truly fill our "Dash".

I was honored when Maryjoe asked me to say something at Monica’s rosary because maybe it meant that I was almost as important to Monica as she is to me. It will be difficult to sum a 21 year friendship with a force of nature like Monica in about 5 minutes, but I’ll try to do so. I remember the first time I met Monica in the summer of 1985, when I arrived at Karen’s and her door to become their new roommate. She seemed so excited to meet me and happy that Karen was going to have a friend from home living out here. She helped me get a teaching job at Eisenhower middle school and introduced me to a multitude of people in a matter of days. We quickly became friends. It wasn’t because we were so much alike, because we weren’t; it was because it was so easy to talk and laugh with her. When we couldn’t sleep on the train to Chicago that summer, we stayed up all night talking and eating all the goodies her mother had packed for us. I’ll never forget the look on Karen and Dina’s face the next morning when we told them we ate all the food. Believe it or not, Monica had an innocent, childlike side. In Chicago, my sister, Karen and I (being the seasoned Chicagoans we were,) quickly avoided a character in a black trench coat. Seeing Monica this man opened his coat showing her all his gold jewelry, watches and other merchandise. I’ll never forget Monica’s call “Hey guys come look at all this great jewelry!” Whenever strong personalities become friends, there are problems. We were no exception. There were months at a time when we didn’t talk to each other. Our lives took different paths, but she was always there. Thanks to Monica, I now use phrases like; cadywompus, And “Whatever blows your dress up!” She was a bridesmaid at my wedding; seeing me through my bridezilla phase and still liking me afterwards. For every happy event in my life, she helped throw the shower. She was my friend through the saddest times in my life and the happiest. When my father was diagnosed with cancer on the same week that I was to move my family into our new home, she saw that I was too shocked to pack my things so she organized everyone to help. After I became a mother, I didn’t see her as much as I would have liked. I let the daily routine of raising two rambunctious boys and teaching full time get in the way. Still we found time to go to the occasional happy hour, lunch in Chimayo and celebrate birthdays and Christmas. When Motherhood or marriage seemed too much for me to cope with, she brought me back to reality and made me realize how lucky I was. She could bring out the worst and the best in me. She gave me a kick in the butt when I needed it, but she also lifted me up. Now that my boys are older I thought I would have more time to make things up to my close friends. I truly never imagined this would happen to Monica. I really thought she was indestructible. I always pictured our little group of friends as old women, complaining, laughing and yelling at each other. When I was sobbing in her hospital room, she said “Don’t you worry, I’ll visit you to make sure you and Justin don’t do anything stupid, AND YOU’D BETTER NOT BE FIGHTING!” She has taught me what friendship really is. She has taught me how to cherish my life and family.